How silence can be an ally’s superpower…
Allyship is a verb.
It’s about action, but sometimes we can forget that consciously choosing NOT to do something is also an act of allyship.
You see, a lot of the work in allyship is about understanding when our voices are not required at all, and knowing that we have the influence and platform to elevate the voices that are.
So today we’re going to talk about getting out of the way and making space for others to be seen and heard.
When we occupy positions of privilege and influence, we can often forget that the world does not revolve around us. We’re usually invited to participate. We’re used to being listened to when we speak. We may not get challenged on our opinions as much as people around us. We’re assumed to know what we’re talking about, and as being credible sources of information.
We can often easily get caught up in this mindset too, believing that we must be the ones to point out what’s going wrong. That we are aware, and we see what’s happening, so it must be up to us to challenge it or educate people around us who can’t. And yes, often this is true. But how often do we hit pause in the middle of this process to ask, “am I the best person to be doing this?” or “am I the only one seeing this?”
Beware the ally as a saviour
Because the motivation to be an ally can often lead us, unwittingly, into saviour territory (and we’ve talked about this before). Where we confuse our desire to make change, with our desire to be seen to be the one making change. And these two things are very different.
Remember, allyship is the paradox that requires us to be totally tuned into ourselves and our awareness, but it also requires us to act in a way that doesn’t place ourselves in the centre. If we’re taking action to demonstrate what a good ally we are, we’ve probably still got a way to go before we’re truly thinking like an ally.
If your motivation to act is rooted in support for the needs of someone who is not like you, and to draw attention to something specific that no-one else is addressing. Then brilliant STEP UP.
If your motivation to act is driven because you’ve learnt a new term and you want to role model to your team that you understand it, or you’re looking for opportunities to use it… Then you definitely need to STEP BACK and check in with your intention and your privilege.
Other reasons to STEP ASIDE include:
Speaking about issues that don’t impact you personally
I will have strong feelings about racism, and I actively participate in discussion about anti-racism, from my perspective as a white person. But as a person who is not directly impacted by racism (I can never be a victim of it) when it comes to talking about the experience of racism, I am not the one to be doing the talking. I can guarantee the people who are directly impacted will already be making their own views and experiences known. So, I must remove myself from focus and use my power as an ally to bring attention to their experiences and their perspectives.
STEP ASIDE ACTION: Share and amplify the voices of those who are impacted and are already talking about, by using your own platforms and social channels to elevate their voices.
Taking up space where your views are already represented
We see this a lot. Panels of speakers who are all white, all men, and all cisgender. Now if the purpose of the panel discussion is to understand the perspectives of cisgender white men in the role of CEO, then bingo — we’re on target. But if we’re trying to understand the best way to take action against the cost-of-living crisis, or to understand the impact of our organisations supply chain on climate change… probably not a good reason to have a homogenous group of speakers. Instead, having a group of speakers that is representative of the population, of different perspectives, and with different frames of reference, is much more likely to help us drive meaningful discussion and create innovative and fresh ideas.
STEP ASIDE ACTION: When compiling lists of speakers, make sure to create a group that is as diverse as possible to get the best discussions and outcomes. When being asked to participate as a speaker on a panel, ask to see the list of confirmed speakers already. If your perspective and views are already represented on that list, make a recommendation to pass the opportunity to someone equally qualified but who isn’t represented. TOP TIP if you’re not sure who you would recommend, widen your network by looking for people who speak on similar topics to you, but with a different perspective, so you have them in your mind ready to go.
Send people to the source of your learning
As we’re progressing on our journey of allyship, it can be great to talk to people and to educate them on the things we are learning. Sometimes we can feel powerful, and we like it when people are impressed at how much we know. But it’s equally important that we credit people for our learning, especially when these people come from underrepresented or marginalised groups. They will have gone to great efforts to share their knowledge and often painful experiences for our learning benefit. So always make sure to credit the source of your learning and encourage people to seek it out for their own development. People rely in this to make their living, so sharing the information is a real act of allyship in support of those who educate us.
STEP ASIDE ACTION: Make recommendations of the books and podcasts that have inspired you. Share your experiences of workshops you’ve attended, and send audiences to the right places to learn more. Leave Amazon or Google reviews to boost the visibility and credibility of resources.
